Discovering A Passion

My son had another fighting tournament.  He's extremely disciplined and competed in the over 18 year old division which meant he'd be fighting older (usually 20 something) guys.

The short version is he had a great day.  He fought 3 fights; the first was won by decision, the second my TKO (technical knock out) and the third, well, let's just say he didn't know what hit him near the end of the second round.  But I did,...a quick left
hook to his head that came out of nowhere to drop him to the ground.  This was the first time that he'd ever been knocked out.  He quickly got up around the count of 7, but as the referee scanned his eye's he made a good call and stopped the fight, 5 seconds before the end of round 2.

While my wife and I have done just about everything to discourage our son's interest in fighting sports, we've come to realize that this is what he loves.  We've come to see that it's what makes him come alive.  It's a testimony to the saying that goes something like; "find something to do with you life that you love and you'll never have to go to "work".

At a deeper level however, Howard Thurman once wrote, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go and do that... because what the world needs is men who have come alive."  I think of my son and his fighting passion when I think of this marvelous quote, since, when he trains or fights it seems effortless,...especially on my part.  When training he is imminently focused, more so than when he is doing anything else...like studying in high school. When it comes to virtually anything he may need to do other than this passion, at this stage in his life, I just about need to use a whip and a chair (think lions in the circus) to get him to do it.  But!, he'll joyously taste blood and take rounds of pounding on his body in the ring if the suffering could possibly lead to victory.  When asked by His disciples about why He wasn't eating, Jesus said, "I have food that you don't know about".  I've always taken that to mean, that Jesus had internal resources (vision, faith, determination) that sustained him, even when His body was calling out for physical nourishment.  Far too many men find themselves stuck in situations and jobs that extract all the life from them.

Note the Dad's concern and the son's joy

On another post I may explore why so many men, in particular, are vision less, have little passion and seem to be like "the walking dead".  I think wives and churches have a particular calling and ability to help their husbands  and men enjoy a resurrection of their passions and dreams.



I'm proud of my son and appreciate what he's teaching me.  Thanks for reading.

Egypt & The Declaration of Independence

Image via Wikipedia

As my young son's and I were scanning the CNN headlines regarding the latest unrest in Egypt, they asked me "why" the people were rioting.  I don't pretend to know why in particular the Egyptians are so upset, but I'm sure it has something to do with not having democracy and having one president for the last 30 years; nonetheless I cheered people on as my son's listened.  Their faces were incredulous, seemingly indicating this thought, "Dad, isn't this wrong for the people to protest like this?"  As I was speaking with my son's I quickly brought up a copy of the Declaration of Independence and read a few portions of it to them;

• ..."a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation...."
• That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government...
• But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

While it is my hope that there is no Egyption bloodshed, what should to be underscored is the people's right to protest what they believe to be unjust governance, 234 years ago we did the same.

Why God Chose Abraham ~ And Why Child Training is so Important For You

Image via Wikipedia

I've been reading about Abraham since the new year began and have come to understand him differently than before, but more importantly "why" God chose Abraham to be the "father of faith" as he is commonly referred.

If you know of Abraham you probably have heard alot about the following (Genesis12:2-3)

• God told him he would make him a "great nation"
• He would make his name "great"
• That he would be a blessing
• How all the families of the earth would be blessed in him
• And in later verses, God promises him the land of Canaan to him and his descendants,
• and how God gave him righteous standing with him due to Abraham's faith

Essentially God told him what to do and what God would do with him and with his life.

On this round of reading about Abraham I've parked on a later verse that indicates why God chose Abraham.  Genesis 18:19 says;

              "For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him."

or in the Message translation;

            "Abraham is going to become a large and strong nation; all the nations of the world are going to find themselves blessed through him. Yes, I've settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God's way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him."
 
So this is my take on why God chose Abraham to introduce Himself to and make him the father of the Jewish and Christian faith's.

• Despite the fact that Abraham only had one child by his wife Sarah (and maybe because of it), Abraham became a generational-thinker
• The very reason he was chosen was because God knew that Abraham would transmit who God was and what God wanted to his children and people with him.
• Abraham was a trainer; he had the motivation (which likely lead to an increasing ability) to teach, instruct and coach his family  
• God spoke all these promises (nation, land, etc.) to Abraham before he even had any children.  Since he and Sarah lived many years childless, they likely developed a strong desire for children and learned to never treat their fertility casually.

One of the most striking phrases of the prior verse was the last one, "...that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him."  Or, "...so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him."   So in my understanding, Abraham's destiny of becoming a nation, inheriting a land, becoming and receiving all that God had promised him, would be manifested by the proper training of his family to live righteously and follow after God.  

Or in equation format;  family training = God's promises

For my own benefit I wrote words that help me understand this topic better, here they are; teaching, training, instructing, sharing, coaching, commanding, directing, discipling, igniting, revealing, deciphering, uncovering, discovering, sparking, demonstrating, pastoring, showing, sheparding, mentoring, modeling...got any more?

Interior Enhancements

"...Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it." Isaiah 30:15

The way I often come across a new thought is making a connection between two or more seemingly unrelated items usually within days or weeks of each other. This is also the way God seems to speak to me (correction; the way in which I hear him.  He likely speaks in all sorts of ways, but I'm not such a great listener).

Recently I made the connection of two things I observed. One was my beautiful wife in her usual early morning spot having her devotional time; bible open, and usually, children sprawled all around her. This has been a custom of hers since she was a pre-teen. Recently, I snapped a picture of her in this locale, which would usually invite her scorn.

termites had eaten the entire middle of the tree

Then several days later I was walking in our back woods with my daugther and noticed a tree that had blown down some months before during a strong wind storm.  I had sawed pieces of it off my fence, but hadn't investigated it at the point of seperation, it had previously appeared large and alive.

I discovered that termites had eaten virtually the entire core of the tree, starting at the bottom and working their way up the tree.  When a strong wind storm came the tree had no strength, though it wasn't dead, and was blown over.  This tree "looked" healthy and there was no exterior indication that it was eaten-up inside and had no inner core strength to keep it erect during the storm.

The spiritual connection I made between the two images is now obvious to you I'm sure.  That, without cultivating a strong devotional life our inner core, our soul-person within us gets eaten up, shrinks and weakens our lives.  There are too many pests that can gain entry; pride, selfishness, greed, fear, etc.

We eat several times every day to stay strong, we breath several times per minute to stay alive, how can it be that we go days or weeks without spending meaningful time in quiet reflection, bible open waiting before our Creator?  As with any relationship love is spelled "T-I-M-E".  In my wife's case, if I were asked to point to one quality or habit that aided her most in life (especially in dealing with our large crew and and a peculiar guy like me), it would be this time of santuary she holds so dear.

This was a great reminder for me to continue to focus on my inner life and reinvigorate my spiritual discipline of daily devotionals.  I did this by beginning to journal my reflections during my daily devotional time.  If you need a kick-start, here's a great devotional help I've enjoyed -- Harvest daily devotional.

Never Go Alone

One of my sweetie's at Home Depot

People often ask me "how do you have time to spend quality time with each child?"  While I don't have a complete answer for this post, one motto I use is, "never go alone".  I work out of the home and travel at times, therefore home-time is very important to me.  No doubt there are constant needs, work to be done, things to fix.  But I've found that the moments that are uniquely special are when I'm working on projects around the house and I find a way have some of the children help me.  While having some "helpers" can suddenly make a one-hour project twice as long, there is so much exchanged with your child when they "do it with you or go with you".

Dad enlarging the house, circa 1973

Some of my fondest memories is doing stuff with my dad.  He was the ultimate handyman around the house and, unlike me, could do virtually anything; carpentry, plumbing, tile work, etc.  So when I need to head to Home Depot or make a quick trip I always try to take a child (or two or three).  Yes, it can be frustrating if you're the kind of person like me who likes to just get things checked-off the list quickly.  But if you think a little more strategically you can check things off and father your child's heart.  While not a complete list, here's a few things that can be accomplished "along the way".

1) You can talk about the business your visiting and how it makes money.
2) You can explain the tools you're using and give them some hands-on experiences.
3) You can talk about the people who work at the business.
4) You can demonstrate to them that whatever you're doing, you can have the joy of the Lord, even if a project gets frustrating or doesn't go the way you planned.

Time for Mums

So my encouragement is; never go alone.

Thanks for visiting.

A Dad's Song

I've heard this song several times, but it wasn't until today that the words resonated with me with deeper clarity than before.  Dad's face different issues than mom's and this tune speaks to them honestly and authentically, challenging us to focus our lives on what matters most.  With all that husband's and dad's need to get done, the pressure, distraction and "tyranny of the urgent" can easily spin us.  Additionally, the lure for success and recognition runs deep in most men; for some it comes from a vacancy deep inside that they (falsely) believe achievement will satisfy.  Alot more can be said here, but for now I'll let the song communicate the message.

Your Cornerman

At a recent kickboxing tournament my son was fighting in I grew more interested watching the cornermen coaching the fighters than watching the actual fights.  These were my first live, organized fights to attend, I had never been so close to action.  

Sometimes things get rough in the corner...

Fighting is analgous to life in so many ways.  There is nothing more raw than entering a ring and knowing that you alone will contend against one man.  It's not a team sport inside the ring, one man will dominate and one man will be defeated.  

Here's what struck me about the relationship between the fighter and his "corner".

The cornerman;

Knocked down...his corner coaching him to get up!

• wants you to win! He's invested in you in every way, has spent hours helping you perfect your skills and grow your ability.
• has a vantage point that the you cannot possess.  You have to trust that he sees and knows the truth about what you are and are not doing to win.
• is soley focused on you; nothing distracts him and you are his singular mission.
• has no time to mince words.  In the 60 seconds between rounds he tells you exactly what you need to do to win the fight.  
• is not trying to get you to like him, but soley wants you to survive and win the match.
• may have been a fighter, or maybe not.  One thing he knows however is what it takes to win in your fight.

Here's what I noticed about the fighters in relationship to their corners.

Cornerman giving quick instruction...

• they were in total dependence on their cornermen; they trusted them.
• they submitted to them, they understood their need for advice and physical support.
• there was no time for dialogue, the fighters listened to their coaches.
• most importantly, the fighter ask's for this type of relationship, he needs and wants a tough cornerman.

There was a moment in taking these images that I became envious of the fighters.  These men had the total attention of one man who at that moment knew what needed to be done and was invested in them to win.  How many guys in the ring of life have that; most want it desperately but don't know how or where to find it.  I contend that this kind of relationship is found in authentic brotherhood of Christian men who are willing to barenuckle each other with the truth.  Not because they want to dominate but because they love them and want them to win in life.

Your corner wants you to win!

Spiritually, for Christians, the Holy Spirit is our Counselor, and cornerman.  He's always coaching us toward winning in Christ and tells us the truth of ourselves and God.

Thanks for visiting.

Fight The Good Fight...

Update June 19th 2010 - He won his division!  Congratulations Ben, so proud of how you focused on this goal, trained diligently and fought with honor.  Here are some of my favorite images of the event.

June 17, 2010 - My son Ben covered by our local television station for his upcoming match. Go Ben!!

21 Years Done...39 Left To Go...

Twenty-four or so years ago I noticed this extremely cute girl walking at the campus fitness center - cupid had struck.  It took me some time, but within a few weeks I discovered her name and through a conveniently-timed "get your roommate a date" event, I conned my roommate into calling this girl for our double-date.

After a brief introduction at the ice cream machine a few days before, we met for the fateful double-date, December 18th 1985 -- a stop at the hamburger joint and then a movie awaited us.  As if God was smiling on us already, He delivered a smooth blanket of snow while we watched our movie. Unknown to me, this gal had never seen snow and she considered this wonderful white gift very romantic - thank God!

Where I come from, marriage is for life.  Each of my grandparents were married for 55-60 years.  My mom and dad were married for 45 years, until dads early death at 67.  Our trade-in culture doesn't help, as even Christians suffer a woefully high divorce rate.  This is not a post about how great our marriage is, though it is, or what's wrong with with our culture - clearly much.  (While I'm certain that my wife has never considered divorce, she has had some some run-in's with attempted murder!)  This is simply a message to my sweet wife to say thanks for saying YES to our second date and for making my life so rich, fun and a thrill to live!  No doubt we've been busy (as evidenced by the family picture), but we both believe in "dying tired".  I love you Rebecca, thanks for sticking with me for 21 years...only 39 more to go!! Happy Anniversary!

Dad Champions

This is one of my all-time favorites.  I first learned about Dick Hoyt father of Rick who was born with Cerebral Palsey years ago at a PromisKeepers event.  When he was young, Rick told his dad that he wanted to run a 5K race and that was all his dad needed to hear, they did....and never stopped.  Rick told his dad that, "when he ran races, he didn't feel disabled".  Again, that was all dad needed to hear.  Now in his 60's Dick is still running...and cycling...and swimming with Rick.  Asked now years later saying simply, "I just wanted to be the best Dad for my family".

Such rare nobility in a dad, but not really so.  Nobility is seen and felt everyday, possibly in smaller, but no less important ways as dad's sacrifice, work and deny themselves to love, provide and bless their families.  In small acts and large, dads are and become champions each day.  But no one is following them around with video camera, highlighting these acts (oh, but Tiger get's press when he torpedoes his family).

The other aspect of this video that you'll receive is the fatherhood of God.  Whether your father memories are wonderful or sour, when the music combines with the images, please drink in the unconditional love of your heavenly father who loves you...for you, and is running, riding and swimming...pulling you all the way to himself.  We are all (spiritually) helpfuless like Rick, we can't do anything to change the condition we were born into...total selfishness and sin.  BUT, our father is our champion and hero...getting us to the finish line by his amazing grace provided through Jesus Christ.

My sweet Mattie has Downs Syndrome and I can't wait to be his champion!