Discovering A Passion

My son had another fighting tournament.  He's extremely disciplined and competed in the over 18 year old division which meant he'd be fighting older (usually 20 something) guys.

The short version is he had a great day.  He fought 3 fights; the first was won by decision, the second my TKO (technical knock out) and the third, well, let's just say he didn't know what hit him near the end of the second round.  But I did,...a quick left
hook to his head that came out of nowhere to drop him to the ground.  This was the first time that he'd ever been knocked out.  He quickly got up around the count of 7, but as the referee scanned his eye's he made a good call and stopped the fight, 5 seconds before the end of round 2.

While my wife and I have done just about everything to discourage our son's interest in fighting sports, we've come to realize that this is what he loves.  We've come to see that it's what makes him come alive.  It's a testimony to the saying that goes something like; "find something to do with you life that you love and you'll never have to go to "work".

At a deeper level however, Howard Thurman once wrote, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go and do that... because what the world needs is men who have come alive."  I think of my son and his fighting passion when I think of this marvelous quote, since, when he trains or fights it seems effortless,...especially on my part.  When training he is imminently focused, more so than when he is doing anything else...like studying in high school. When it comes to virtually anything he may need to do other than this passion, at this stage in his life, I just about need to use a whip and a chair (think lions in the circus) to get him to do it.  But!, he'll joyously taste blood and take rounds of pounding on his body in the ring if the suffering could possibly lead to victory.  When asked by His disciples about why He wasn't eating, Jesus said, "I have food that you don't know about".  I've always taken that to mean, that Jesus had internal resources (vision, faith, determination) that sustained him, even when His body was calling out for physical nourishment.  Far too many men find themselves stuck in situations and jobs that extract all the life from them.

Note the Dad's concern and the son's joy

On another post I may explore why so many men, in particular, are vision less, have little passion and seem to be like "the walking dead".  I think wives and churches have a particular calling and ability to help their husbands  and men enjoy a resurrection of their passions and dreams.



I'm proud of my son and appreciate what he's teaching me.  Thanks for reading.

Risk, Chaos, Mess...the stuff of real life!

Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest. Proverbs 14:4

People make a mess. Children make a mess. Houses with people and a lot of children make big messes. You can't have children around and have things clean, in order and in good repair for very long. While the words "disorder" or "mess" seem undesireable, within anything of beauty there remains an element of chaos (think nature). I'm learning (with difficulty) that when I look at a dirty kitchen or a messy garage, I'm looking at lives being lived, in all it's chaos with people I love.

I help run a lot of businesses that are highly dependent on people. If I couldn't accept a lot of ambiguity and chaos at times, I would soon be crushed by the weight of it all. Despite best efforts to train, manage and create systems, things just do not run the way you want them to a lot of the time. People aren't robots and they don't run computer programs in their brains, they are innately unpredictable, make mistakes or judge wrong. Equipment breaks, machines need service, the second law of thermodynamics is always at play, things are running down.

The same goes for families, home and relationships they are by nature chaotic. Unless we allow for unpredictability, disorder, chaos and mess in our lives our perfectionist tendencies create lids over us that ultimately create limitations. It's classic in business. A guy starts a business and while it's small and controllable his life is good, but as soon as it starts to grow he hits a wall, he can't handle the chaos it creates around him. Sometimes this is created by him because he hasn't grown his skills with the enterprise, often however it's simply the fact that the more people he involves in it the more complicated (risky, chaotic, messy) that business becomes....and that can be scary.

The above scripture gives a great word picture that while oxen make a smelly, stinky mess, without the animal the farmer has no strength to till his fields, provide for his family, build wealth; this large messy creature adds value to him, actually an accelerator towards his goal. If the farmer couldn't handle the mess of the oxen, it's care and feeding, it's smelly refuse, he'd be tilling his own fields himself suffering with a fraction of the output and productivity of other farmers with oxen. Without our children (read biological and spiritual), we create little generational value in the world, we don't grow as deeply as people. Without children there is little inner vision to live nobly, generational or holy. Without children, there is little down-payment on the future. Without children and the unpredictability, chaos and mess they create, you don't become who God intended. To enjoy a life that creates value (I'm not talking money and assets), we should embrace the messy stuff of life - children, people and relationships that over the long haul reap us a harvest of an abundant and value-adding life.

Phil Vassar get's it. Life with the people you love is messy, but still beautiful all the same. Enjoy the truth of his song.